I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”
self-respect is my respect for myself
i could as well suck 3 thousand dicks and still respect myself so shut the fuck up
Hell I would respect u for sucking 3 thousand dicks
Really seriously flabbergasted and concerned about this.
This is terrifying and very important.
- dont make fun of people who believe or practice in any spirituality
- dont make fun of people who believe in ghosts/demons/spirits/etc.
- dont make fun of people who believe in extraterrestrial beings
- their beliefs arent harming you in the least why the fuck would you mock someone for what they believe in what kind of fucking scumbag are you
Lettuce Bacon Green beans Tomato Ally sandwich
how could you fuck up so tremendously
WHOSOEVER HOLDS THIS HAMMER, IF SHE BE WORTHY, SHALL POSSESS THE POWER OF THOR.
ACTUAL GODDESS NATASHA ROMANOV
I always knew she was one :D
As is so often true of comics, a lot of the awesome is in the details. Natasha can’t move the Hammer when she first reaches it. What makes her worthy at the end when she apparently wasn’t worthy just seconds before? Look at panels 2-3 again. Natasha’s got that big ogre right on top of her with his club already going back to strike … and instead of shooting it to save herself, she uses her last shot to bring down the flying reptile that’s chasing that fleeing shuttle. That act of self-sacrifice in the face of certain death is what made her worthy.
so me and my dad are watching a documentary about a man that killed his children and the presenter turned to the camera and said ‘how could anyone ever think about killing their child’ and my dad sat there looking straight at the tv and said ‘trust me its not difficult’ he then looked at me and sighed
A glitch in the matrix is an experience that proves something isn’t right in the world or sometimes your brain.
Here are some creepy experiences that are supposedly true as reported by these users.
- DEAD BUT NOT DEAD
by reddit user 3clipse
I knew my uncle had died.
My mom had called me and told me the news. It was very sad. She told me in the middle of work and I told one of my coworkers. He expressed his condolences on my loss.
A couple weeks later, my sister mentioned my aunt and uncle doing something. I said “but…he’s dead.” And my sister said no, he wasn’t.
I called my mom. No, he wasn’t dead.
To this day I’m still not sure how much of it my brain imagined and how much was real. Did I really talk to my coworker? Was I even on the phone with my mom at all that day?
It still freaks me out knowing that my mind could fabricate so complete and real a memory like that.
- WHY DID WE TALK LIKE THAT
by reddit user WittyRepost
Several years ago I woke up in bed next to my (now ex) girlfriend and we had a conversation in fluent French. I got up and got in the shower, and as the water started running I realized, neither of us spoke French. When I got out I asked her about it. She remembered it happening but was as confused as I was. I can’t even remember what we talked about because I don’t fucking speak French. Brains are weird.
by reddit user Joevual
My dad has epilepsy and says that he’ll experience this when he doesn’t take his meds. Sort of like a fugue state. He went to Aspen on a business trip to design a ski lodge and he forgot his meds at home. He was supposed to do a big presentation but he never showed up. His coworkers looked for him for hours until they finally found him walking down the highway in the snow, 8 miles from their hotel. Apparently he had completely forgot who he was, where he was, and why he was there. He figured if he just started walking he could piece things together and figure things out. He snapped out of it when he saw the familiar faces of his coworkers.
- A DIFFERENT PATH
by reddit user A_lot_of_italics
One day I was walking to work and all of a sudden had an urge to walk a different path than usual. I work downtown in a big city. It was a strange spur of the moment urge to walk a different way that changed my life forever.
I turned into an alley I had never seen before. As I remember it, I made it about fifteen feet or so when an actual “glitch” happened. Everything in my mind scrambled. I felt like I didn’t have a body anymore, just that I was a semi-conscious entity floating through some weird dimension. All of a sudden in the array of different colors and shapes a vision came to me. It was a bunch of strange looking people that in my mind resembled businessmen in suits. They looked startled and panicked that I could see them. One of the “people” made a quick movement and everything turned to black.
When I regained normality, I was on a completely different street. It was the same street that I always use to walk to work. I felt sick, and severely disturbed/depressed.
I’ve never done any hard drugs, never experienced any hallucinations, never have had anything like this happen to me. The weird thing is, when the glitch was correcting itself and I could see those “people” watching me like a caged animal I had the feeling that I knew I was being controlled. It still bothers me very much to this day.
- A SHARP BEND
by reddit user pistacchio
When I was like 10 or 11 I was going to the beach with my aunt and her friends. There were two cars of us. To get there we had to go through a very large industrial area. We didn’t know the direction, so our car was following the other. Suddenly, they did an unexpected turn and so our driver had to take a sharp bend.
In that moment we heard a very clear, loud voice inside the car saying laughing “Sharp bend, hm?!”. The driver immediately hit the brakes. We looked at each other, puzzled: we all recognized it as a voice not belonging to any of us.
In the very same time, we noticed that the other car has stopped as well. The other driver got out of the car with a scared face and shouted to us: “Did… did you hear that as well?”.
They heard the very same thing inside their car. The area around was full deserted.
- THE SUICIDE DREAM
by reddit user 47attemptslater
When I was a teenager I had two really intense dreams one night. The first one was about an online friend of mine calling me to say she’d broken up with her boyfriend, and I sang a few lines of Seal’s “Don’t Cry” to her over the phone. The second dream was finding a (real life) friend dead body floating in her bathtub.
I didn’t think anything of it up until I logged online that evening and the online friend came online to tell me her boyfriend broke up with her. I immediately asked if I could call her, and she said no. I remember thinking that it meant something, like I could change it. Not long after, my phone rang, and it was Real Life friend from the dream calling me. I was completely freaked at this point, but talked to her normally… she was just talking about school and shit… up until I realized I heard a splash in the background. I asked her, “Are you in the tub?” and when she said yes I felt like my heart had stopped. I asked her, “What did you do?”. She didn’t answer me right away, and then after a very long pause she told me she’d taken an entire bottle of pills and chased it with mushrooms and vodka. She’d gotten scared waiting for it to hit her… so she called me so she’d hear someone’s voice. I hung up and called 911. By the time they got there she was unconscious, but alive. Today she’s a mom to a beautiful little girl, and she’s ok.
- NO BRUISES OR SCRATCHES
by reddit user mbalsevich
Was monkeying on the hand rails of a balcony on the 4th floor of my building and fell off, as 2 of my buddies watched in horror.
I remember seeing the concrete floor approaching as I fell head first and thinking “oh fuck - I’m going to break my wrist” (Why my wrist? dunno)
Next recollection is seeing my buddies yelling, from up there, “Are you OK!? ARE YOU OK!?”.
I look up, I say: “What happened?”.
They did not see my actually hit the floor, they just ran outside and saw me already standing looking up.
Not a scratch, not a bruise, nothing hurted. I don’t remember hitting the floor, standing up, nothing. No memories exist for those 1 or 2 seconds.
None of us 3 ever understood what happened. But we all saw it and agree on what happened.
- MY EYES ARE BURNING
by reddit user ClassicJenny
About 15 years ago my friends parents, Steve and Julie, were woken up at 1am to a very loud THUD that rattled the house. Worried that one of the kids had fallen out of the bunk bed Steve went downstairs to check on them but all three kids were sound asleep and safe in their beds. Julie told Steve to check the house in case of intruders so Steve checked the doors and windows before going outside to take a look.
After ten minutes of investigating the noise Steve came across nothing unusual and went back inside to go to bed. He found his wife absolutely worried sick and she demanded to know where the hell he had gone and what happened. Confused and tired Steve told her he found nothing and tried to calm her down before Julie pointed out that it was now 4am and that he had been missing for 3 hours. Julie had even gone outside to check on him and he was nowhere to be found and didn’t respond to her calling his name. Unable to figure out what happened they returned to bed and slept until Steve had to get up for work in a few hours.
Steve owns a painting business and a couple hours after working on a house he noticed his eyes started to feel itchy, then his eyes started to burn, then after a couple hours his eyes burned so badly that he was holding his eyelids open as to not blink because it felt like his lids were sandpaper against his eyes. His employees rushed him to the hospital and Steve was treated for second degree flash burns on his eyes. He was told his burns were equivalent to staring at a welders torch without eye protection for an extended period of time. His eyes were treated and he was lucky to have his vision fully restored.
So that’s all I got for now. You can view the full thread here
So do any of you have experiences like this? A glitch in the system experience?
Make a post and tag “sixpenceee”! I would love to read them and will be reblogging the ones that really make me go “woah”
That last one was an angel, don’t you lie to me
For the past two months I’ve been experiencing my own recurring glitch, and it’s frankly been terrifying me, but my mom doesn’t really think much of it and I haven’t really talked much about it to anyone else.
I can’t talk for long about it, because past experience goes to show that when I remember it, the memory disappears incredibly quickly and it’s like… sectioned off or something.
So, to summarize, then, basically I’ll have this sudden flash of memory, almost like a flashback but also still partially grounded in reality, several times a week and on some occasions multiple times a day. It started when I was really sick two months ago, and for the two weeks I was sick it happened all throughout the day, several times each day.
The memory feels like a memory of real life, but my brain also insists it’s just a memory of a dream, presumably because many of the memories aren’t “real life” stuff. Some are, but I know none of them have ever happened to me in real life, at least not in this lifetime or dimension or whatever.
When it happens, I have this feeling of vague nausea, confusion, lightheadness, dizziness, and other similar symptoms. They last until the memory abruptly disappears, and then I can sometimes remember it happened for ten, fifteen seconds - long enough to try to grasp the memory and pull it back, but I’m never able to.
It feels almost like something straight out of fiction; like someone’s trying to force me to forget alternate lives or something, using conditioning (by using the symptoms to try to force me to forget when I feel them), some fictional-type device, or perhaps more nefarious means.
Already I can feel it starting to disappear (at which point, since I have the typing I’ll be able to remember what I write but not any more, and shortly after I’ll forget until a memory crops up again) so I’ll try to speed up.
I also sometimes have the symptoms without a memory, and there’s a subtle feeling of my mind searching for a memory that it can’t find.
Oh, another thing it feels kind of reminiscent of is a tear between dimensions where I’m briefly connecting with an alternate self, but of course I know that’s impossible.
I haven’t been able to think of any logical reasons for it, and it’s been fucking me up every time it happens, and I’m sure there are other details, perhaps important, but I can’t remember anything else now. so. my “glitch” in the system.
if anyone has any ideas of what it could be, definitely message me. It’s scaring me.
My roommate and I are really sick and we look like shit, but we were hungry so we ordered pizza.
But we didn’t want anyone to see us, so we asked them over the phone if we can leave the money on the door and they can just drop off the pizza.
The guy said sure.
So we decided to leave a nice little note
and we hung it above the door bell. I hope they like it!
Page 1 of 1901